Grieving for the first time: One Year On

So around about a year ago, I lost two family members from my life within a few months of eachother after never losing any one before and because of this, grief was an alien emotion to me..

I’d bereaved the lost of pets but never a person. The moment I heard the news of the loss of one of my family members I was at work with my sister where I walked into a room and was told by my ward manager that my sister had something to tell me. With teary eyes my sister began to tell me the news to which I was lost for words and stood blankly trying to process this new emotion and the feeling of someone that i knew my whole life had been passed and that I was never going to see them on earth again and then after a good few minutes after trying to come to terms I clung onto my sister as I let out my emotions. 

The way it empacted my family and seeing the ever cheery and happy family members that I’m always used to seeing in this way were sad and beyond upset was something that really hit me hard.. to this day I will never be able to get this image from my head and will be something that will hurt my heart forever. And I wish I could do everything to bring my uncle back but unfortunately this is a part of the life cycle and is inevitable and this is a part of dealing with grief is accepting the loss and also feeling grateful because at some point they were fortunate enough to have been in your life.

And then a few months later a second loss happened in my life.. My Step-Grandad. After myself and my family still grieving the loss of my uncle and coming to terms with these new emotions this one was tough. Being a part of my life since the very beginning and being the closest thing I’ve had to experience to a grandad as possible being as my other grandfathers unfortunately passing away before my birth. This being very close to losing my uncle this meant this was twice as hard upon our family trying to come to terms with these unfortunate circumstances. 

From this the impact upon my family is huge, and still really affects us today and will always do and ever since I tend to catch myself drifting of in thought when alone and having a little cry about these losses and how hurt others around me are because of this but this is a part of dealing with loss and I am learning to accept that this is okay!

IN MEMORY OF Grandad Gill&Uncle Brian💖 Cya again one day

Olivia x