Am I Enough?

Everyone around me wherever I look seems to be living these amazing& spectacular lives. I log onto Instagram, Twitter,Facebook, snapchat etc. And see ‘ *insert name here* has just completed uni and landed an amazing job’ and ‘*insert name here* has just traveled the world for a year’ and ‘ *very pretty human uploaded a very pretty photo which human makes you feel like your ugly trash’ and instantly just sink into self loathing and hating myself and quite possibly regretting my current life decisions and my appeance. Society is such a confidence killer along with the combination of social media. There is all sorts of expectations that most people seem to live by and enforce upon themselves and everyone else that people ‘MUST FOLLOW OTHERWISE IM AVERAGE AND A FALIURE!!!!’ And I’ve got to admit that is currently how my mindset has been going. Everyone, I feel Might just be me that has this big image that by the age of 21 you must have most of your life together and be able to drive before being 18 and then go to uni and if you do you must do this by 18 and graduate at 21 and be married by this age and find love ECT. ECT. Yada yada  BLOODY LIES! DO WHAT EVER THE F YOU WANT!!!! Just because I’ve taken longer than some of my friends, peers etc. and because I’m not able to apply makeup like a pro and my contour makes me look like Neapolitan ice cream and my brows are forever bushy lol and my fashion sense isn’t Gucci this and Prada that,  myself I feel like I’m the lesser and I’m not as worthy as those that are able to live up to those expectations. I find it so sad how I’m living in a society that I feel like I’m going to be judged for not being this fine tuned-oxford uni going-flawless supermodel type that I 100% aren’t  and that is something I feel is one of my biggest confidence flaws that I need to throw in the f**kin bin! And you should too!  that I feel from not just being myself isn’t perfection enough when infact that in itself is something to carry with confidence that I am my own original person which is something I’m trying to work on.  I have amazing people in my life who I love dearly and cherish there thoughts and opinions upon myself  who say I’m amazing and they love me for me but somehow I still cannot help in thinking in this mind frame. So what I’m not this person I have created in my head to be perfect who even f***ing cares anyways? Is it really society putting this message out or is it just me getting this from everyone and putting 2+2 together and getting it soo wrong. 

Olivia x